I am going to take some time later today and plan my menu's out for the week. I do much better when I know what I am going to be cooking/eating all week long.
I am not sure that I will be walking today. I still am a little under the weather and I cannot wait to start feeling better so I can go out there and hit the exercise part even harder than before. I am approaching territory that I have not entered in over a decade.
I am so grateful to see the pattern of my last attempts at losing weight and even greater that with that knowledge I stopped dead in my tracks, and will try even harder to push towards that goal line. I want to lose 15 pounds in 4 weeks. Can I do it? Hell YES I can. Absolutely. Without a doubt.
I just know that when I get to my goal weight, I know that God is going to bless my tummy with a baby. The baby I've always wanted... and John and I can start a family. Oh my STARS! That is such a on going prayer and wish of mine and I just know that it's going to come true. God's promise, is the only one I stand on. He will not let me down.
Reflecting on the past year has been pretty amazing. Next month, I will have worked out consistently for one year. I've lost 45 pounds (slowly) but all the better for me to keep it off. I have stopped eating my 1500 calorie bowl of ice cream every night, changed the milk in my lattes to non fat and I eat whole grains instead of white grains (except my tortilla's) sorry folks, there is just some things that I am not willing to sacrifice.
But most of all, I've learned that by doing all of these things, eating better, working out, drinking my water, this is how I am loving myself. I used to go weigh in and head for the burger joint, telling myself, I deserve this.
Well actually No I didn't, nor do I now deserve that. That is sabotaging myself. If I want a cheeseburger, I can go and have one, but I dropped the "puffed out chest" - I deserve this mentality.
No, what I really deserve is a 5 mile walk and a nice healthy rounded meal. This is what Loving yourself is all about, taking care of yourself. I didn't always love myself, I thought I did, with food.
I would shove everything so far down, that I would numb myself with food. That did me no good. I would hate myself, and eat even more. Crying in pure desperation for God to answer my prayers, to save me from this vicious cycle that I was trapped in.
God didn't supernaturally deliver me and for awhile I was mad.. and the more I got mad, the more separated from God I actually felt. I went to Him in prayer and prayed "Why wont you save me?" I heard a loud whisper in my spirit say "I've given you the power to save yourself."
It was then I knew that my test would someday be my testimony.
It has been a long hard road for me. Food has always been there for me. It has been the one thing that I could rely on, and it would make me feel comforted because it was all I know and it was "familiar". Learning how to cope with the curve balls that life throws at you, without turning to food is a challenge. Have I been successful? Not every week. I have made progress and for the first time in my life, I truly Believe in myself. I Finally, without a doubt know that with God by my side, I can be more than a conquer.
I stopped the rewind button and hit play. I am going forward.
I just watched a movie called Switch and the very last line of the movie, it moved me. Four simple yet powerful words...
Life is in Session
That hit home for me. My life is in session, we don't get replay's. We don't get do-overs. We don't get rewinds. This is it. This is my shot to chase after my dreams. I am worth it, and lets face it all the exercise is good for me paired with the balanced eating. I am not on a diet, I am on a mission to save my life... as it states up above, it's in session. What are you waiting for?
Never be led by your fears, by led by your dreams.
Let's chase them together! All we have to do is
B-E-L-I-E-V-E
There is so much power in that, and positive reinforcement.
I am going to end this, tonight...by just saying, we are worth it.
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