Breaking 300

The last two weeks, I gained a total of three pounds. I knew something was wrong when I walked 23 miles in a week and came up at the end of the week with a gain. I realized that the majority of my calories are refined carbs. They may say, low fat, or be baked but at the end of the day, I was having far too many. What I was doing was not working. I needed to make a change.  I decided to reduce those baked lays, granola bars, the peanut butter cracker snacks, etc.,  just to see if my body would respond.

I didn’t feel deprived; I ate about 100 of complex carbs a day. I truly felt like I had lost and on my drive down to  Weight Watchers I had this anxiety that I have never felt before. I couldn’t wait to see the results. I got on that scale and JUMPED for JOY when it read 299. I have been struggling the past two weeks and to cut back on carbs and see a 7 pound loss in one week was AMAZING. Somebody pinch me!!! I wanted to grab Betty (my 99 pound 60 year old weight watcher leader) and pick her up and toss her up in the air. Although she was happy for me, I don’t think that she would have wanted to celebrate with me in that fashion.  I could not believe my eyes.  I hit three goals today, Got under 299, LOST 7 Pounds (biggest lost in one week – since I have been going to WW) and I hit my 10% weight loss goal. I felt like a million bucks. I just can’t believe the difference between eating less carbs.

I will not cut out  ALL carbs. I love my whole grain foods such as oatmeal, whole wheat bread, otter pops (LOL) the good carbs. I am not willing to do anything to lose weight that I won’t be willing to do to maintain it. When I started this journey last year I was 353.8 today I am 299.1 I have thus far lost 54.7 pounds.  This has been a YO YO struggle for me for the past ten years. I would start a diet on Monday and be off of it by lunch time.  It really did take me awhile to lose that 54.7 pounds but I am past the point of return. I love being active, I love walking, I love being able to do things that I couldn’t do at 353 pounds.  I  can fit into things better, booths, chairs, seat belt is more comfortable. I have much more stamina and I the walking has helped me with my overall mental and physical health.

Considering the week I have had, I am very surprised to have lost such a large number.  I am under some stress, and normally I would cope with it, by stuffing my face. Well, I didn’t this week. I reminded myself that it would not make me feel any better and it would not fix the problem. This week is going to be a test for me to continue onto my weight loss and track every bite, lick and taste. I live by tracking. For those of you who do not struggle with food (on a Food addict level) I highly recommending logging everything you eat.

For the first time I have to admit, I really want this and I deserve this and I know that I can do this. I never had any faith in myself. I always in the back of my head knew that I would never follow through with any diet or exercise plan.  It may only be 54.7 pounds but I am proud of every single one of those pounds. What I am proud of is that I gained two weeks in a row and I still went back. I saw the set back as an opportunity for a major comeback.  

I believe in myself 100 percent. I am so thankful and grateful for the friends and family that God has put into my life. Renea, Robin, Helmi and I are all on this weight loss journey together and I wouldn’t wanna do it with anyone else. We are all going at our own paces, and on our own journey, but we are not in this alone… every step of the way, I can truly say the support of those 4 girls and even my friends that are not on a “weigh loss” journey but have supported me the whole way (Pascale & Sue ) make all the difference in the world.

I am excited at the journey ahead and I just know that a baby is getting more and more real every day. I truly believe that it will happen.

Success feels great!

I may have lost the battle, but I am going to win the war.

There are times in our lives when we get pressed down, and things seem like they are caving in. In the past the way through these trying times was to open up the refrigerator door and push my feelings so far down with food that I would numb myself. I learned this behavior since I was a small child. Food has always been there to comfort me; it was the one consistent comforter in my life.  Being an adult, and now having God as my comforter, I still out of habit turn to food before God.  Learning how to lean on Him and not the tortilla chips and cheese will have to be a conscious effort on my part. I often make mindless decisions without even realizing what I am doing only out of habit.  Looking at the current circumstances, one would say, it looks as though I may lose my job. My knee jerk reaction is to freak out.

Financially we can’t make it without my income.  However, my inner soul says to rely, trust and wait on the Lord. I am reminded of what the bible asks, “Whoever gained one hour of his life back by worrying?”  It’s true. Worrying is useless. So I step out in faith, letting go, knowing that God will catch me.

I weighed in over the weekend; I gained 1.2 – Whew, wipes forehead. I really thought it was going to say up 3 or 4. My scale is whack-o! I did decide to limit my “junk carbs” processed cookies, cakes, crackers, ice creams… ya know all the junk food, even though weight watchers has their name on it and it’s only 2 points per bar, it’s still crap. I will also stop eating lean cuisines – those are also crap. I took the weekend off from working out, was very busy. I enjoy walking… I also enjoyed the two days off and I am pretty sure my body did too.

Unknown  territory.

Tonight I start Zumba. I am going to embrace it. It is going to be fun, challenging and rewarding.  I am off to work, to see what is what… and knowing that when one door closes another one opens.

Thank you!

I just find it so inspirational to hear the success of other people that have lost weight.
I find it even more so when it's my friends and family. I just have to say to my Sister Renea and my dear friend Helmi, that you guys are doing such a great job! Renea has lost a total of 22.2 lbs and Helmi has lost 72-75 lbs (not sure of the total amount) and I just want to personally congratulate you both but also thank you for giving me the inspiration to try harder and knowing that you both can do it, adds that belief within myself. So, just from my little corner of the world, I just want to say thank you and you both look so fabulous.
Your hard work and dedication has paid off . This photo, shows off all your progress….

My little skinny minnies!


Love ya both and congrats!

TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC – CHEERS TO A NEW START!

Well I wasn’t going to weigh in tomorrow, but I decided yes I will just do it. That way anything that I lose will be a loss next week. It’s really OK to gain, as long as I don’t keep gaining. My old self would just stop going to WW all together!

So my goal this week is to walk 20 miles, plan my menu and I do not want to use any of my bonus points or exercise points. So I am going to have to be creative in the field of power foods as now all foods are created equal. I am thinking turkey and avocado sandwiches next week for lunches on some really healthy wholegrain bread. Breakfast will be ½ cup oatmeal, 2 T. slivered almonds, Dinners, are going to be have to be… portioned out. I will need ALLOT of gum. That seems to help.

I also am going to get out in the yard this week and also attempt to finish some sewing projects that I have started. I have several stockings to finish, a few aprons to do and a quilt to finish. That should keep me busy for a little while.

I am trying to not let the pressure of losing my job get to me too much. I am an emotional, pms, eater.. So, need allot of  gum, and good foods. I have been making a smoothie this week.. and it is delicious. I use one cara orange, 2 cups spinach and ½ cup frozen berries and 4 fresh strawberries, so next week, going to try to put more spinach in the drink for my veggie as a serving of spinach is 3 cups, so need to do more. Drink allot of water and try not to eat out at all next week, if I can help it. IF we do eat out, than I will be good. I want to get back down to 305 by next Friday. So I am going to need to stay focused. I want to be by 299 by memorial weekend and would love to be 290-295 by June 10^th when we leave for our trip to Alaska.

So today, marks my start of a new week.

I can do this!!!! Gooo Mistie!!!

Still fighting...

It’s been awhile since I have taken the time to blog. Let’s catch up here, I lost 1.8 lbs. making my total 50 all together and 30.4 with WW, the following week I gained 1.6 and then I walked blooms day! My first race ever, walking. Boy was I sore afterwards. I will do things much differently next year but I am very proud of the fact that I completed it. I can’t fit into the shirt, the largest size they have is 2XX (not that I would wear it anyhow) Yellow is not my color.

I got great news from my doctor, telling me that I do have one cyst on my right ovary which has been causing me some discomfort, but with that came music to my hears. She told me that I am ovulating and that I am fertile. Some months, I do not ovulate, while other times I do. The reason for my irregular and lengthy cycles is one thing… my weight. All the more reason to lose weight, right? Right!

However, with all this being said, while I am totally on cloud nine just having heard the best news ever. I find myself in stepping into deep swampy familiar water again. Let me count how many times I have went on a diet, and then I get tired of the restriction, the counting, the vegetables, the just not being able to eat what it is that I want to eat. So then I start going out of control. I have noticed this behavior and pattern creeping up this week and while I am trying with everything I have to put a damper on it, I still seem to let food get in the way of my weight loss. I am so close to breaking that 300 mark, and instead of losing the 4 lbs. I needed to break it, the scale is going in the opposite direction. Then panic sets in as with the pressure and I sabotage myself. Well I just will not allow that to happen.

Knowing that there will be another gain on that WW Scale this weekend, is not going to stop me from going forward and getting right back up. This is where I stop the cycle and push forward in the right direction. Time to set some personal goals for myself, health wise, physically, home wise, life goals, all area’s… and stop focusing so much on the food (in the right or wrong way) and just begin to live my life and try to change my mind, change my life. My good friend yesterday reminded me, it’s not about a diet… this is about a lifestyle change and for the first time with open ears I think that I really accepted and understood what that meant. That means that I am not a failure or a winner by the scale, it’s about changing my life.. being more active and not living my life so far out of balance that I am stressing out on losing weight or gaining weight.

I put far to much pressure on myself, I just need to relax a little bit, move more, eat less and if I eat 3 servings of nuts like I did yesterday, don’t panic for petes sake. 

I remember John and I eating pizza every week, running to dairy queen for summer blizzards, fattening desserts every night. Heavy fatty, dinners etc., I have to look at the big picture and even if it takes me two years to lose this weight, so be it. For me, slow and steady. I cannot restrict myself because that will back fire on me. I get in my mind, I have to lose all this weight right now, so I can have a baby, because I am getting older and time is running out… that pressure in turns makes me stress out and I gain weight. It’s not effective. So right now, I need to think of what he most effective way for me to mentally prepare myself for this long journey ahead. I will say that I have come a long way in the means of I don’t beat myself up quite like I used to and for the first time in my life I can honestly say I love myself more than I ever have and I think that is what has helped me lose this weight. Before when I lost weight, it was always motivated by fear.. I can’t let that be the driving force, this time, it’s because I love myself and I want to give myself the best chance at living a great life and showing some appreciation to God, for the body that he gave me to take care of.

So, I have had at two week setback. Oh Well. It’s over. The end. It’s not like I murdered someone. Why do we have to beat ourselves up so much over something so insignificant? I will make it on this journey, I believe in myself and I will hit some rough spots along the way, but I will promise myself this, I will continue on, because I am worth it.