Spring Break

Well it sounds funner than it actually is. Although, I can't lie and say that I haven't enjoyed sleeping in and doing whatever I've wanted to, because the truth is... I have loved every minute of it. I guess the thing I love the most is not having stress. It feels good to be stress free. Like any other goal oriented American, or maybe it's just what I do; I made a chore list of everything that I wanted to accomplish this week. However, it started out a Spring Cleaning list and ended up being a Summer list; meaning that I put far to many things on there to be done in one week.

So, today I am going to organize my sewing room. I have taken up a new craft; making cards. I love to send cards so why not make them. Of course, they are very generic, plain and boring. Just waiting to go to a stamping up class to learn how to make the cool ones. I am a total card. : ) heheh Love getting cards and love sending them as well.

I got up at 5:30 this morning and walked with Robin and then came home and biked for 20 minutes. Boy I feel out of shape. I need to kick it into high gear. Next week, I want to bike for an hour a day. Hopefully my legs can keep up. They get tired fast on a bike. That's OK, I worked up a great sweat. I know one of these days it's all going to click. The food, the work outs, the desire and focus to lose weight and I will start losing again. Until then; no panic, no stressy, no worry - just love and accept myself right where I am at. : )

Be present in the moment. Don't escape it.

Well I suppose I better get busy if I want to be productive. I want to clean the bathroom and do the kitchen floor today too. I am not gonna lie, laying on the couch watching chick flicks while I cross stitch sounds so much more appealing.

Hope whoever is reading this is having a wonderful day.

Career Change!

Well I am going to get in and see my counselor asap and see how soon I can switch my course. I have decided that I am going to change course and go to school to get my medical receptionist degree/certificate. I wont have pre-reqs done in enough time to do the Dental Assisting and in the chance the PTA program does not accept me, I can hopefully switch my classes immediately and be done by Dec 2012, and still have 5 months of unemployment to look for work. Say prayers that this all falls in line... : ) He is guiding my steps, I am just following.

---M.

Running away from yourself

Those words hit home with me when I heard Bob Harper tell Rosie O' D that on her show. Rosie was talking about how she hated her body and couldn't look at herself and Bob brought up such a good point and said, you can't be like that, because it will make you want to run away from yourself. Instead you need get naked, stand in front of the mirror and embrace yourself, love yourself right where you are at.

When we run from ourselves, we turn to, all sorts of things except ourselves and it only adds to further disappointment. It was an Ah Hah moment for me. I do that allot... I turn to food to run from myself... I find myself so stressed out lately with school that I have really turned to food for comfort and soothing. I am working out just not to gain weight and it's driving me crazy.

So today, I choose a different approach. I think I made up my mind that school is just not for me. I will finish out this year, and apply for the PTA program and then look for a job, and hopefully get a decent job. I feel more peace today about that decision... I am calm and just led by my heart. I will of course pray and take inventory of my emotions, situation, goals, etc., in the months to come but this is the direction that I am going.

My approach is to embrace myself. I am OK with who I am, where I am and I love myself right where I am. No more running, no more desperate attempts to have to lose all my weight overnight. It's holding me back and stressing out me out. So, I will make healthier choices and maybe set a goal to lose 1 lb. a week for right now and in a month or so, check in and see where I am at.

Losing weight is more than just sticking to a diet and working out; it is 90% emotional for me. I am really great at beating myself up while loving everyone else, and giving everyone else I love bounds of grace but for some odd reason, never extending that to myself, nor loving myself the way that I need to be loved. I feel in such a good place today. The stress of school is over, the stress of have to lose all my weight right now is over, the stress of being mad at myself for school and not losing weight is over.

Today, I have peace. I close my eyes and just embrace this moment and am thankful for it and all my blessings and the strength to carry on and to live to fight another day. I am not under the gun in any manner. I got to clean my house and start a craft project while drinking tea and having a cookie and it was nice. It was just what the doctor ordered.

I have a million creative ideas running through my head and all these crafts and projects I wanna start. I also want this Summer to be active; swimming, tennis, hikes, biking etc., I want to have a fantastic active summer. I want to work in my yard and make it cute, I want to grow a garden. I have some Easter projects I wanna make.

Tomorrow I am going to make Easter cookies and deliver to my loved ones to put a smile on their face. I cannot tell you enough how badly, I just want a job instead of going to school. I have never wanted a normal schedule with no pressure, stress, deadlines from four different classes all at once and make sure you memorize everything too.

Today I give myself the gift of peace and with that, I smile and soak up the rest that comes along with that. My mind is restful and there is a balance right now today.

Never run away from yourself, run towards yourself, you are worth it. We all are.

I think I almost did lose my mind.

Dear Blog,

               I have missed you! It feels incredibly great to have spare time to write again. I even posted a food blog this morning, it was nothing fancy, yet it's still something that I love to do. I never knew that I require ME time to be happy? I am not complaining but the last sixty days have pushed me, stretched me and pulled me beyond my breaking limits. Those people that warned me about Anatomy and Physiology were not kidding when they said, "Say goodbye to your social life, free time, you time, any time!"

They weren't joking.

This was me this FALL 2011 quarter

              Then I started Winter 2012 Quarter.

I learned more than 213 bones, grooves, fissures, muscles, reflexes, nerves, etc., Not to mention how all that works. I also learned that I don't have the coping tools to deal with stress. I don't think that I have ever had a more challenging task in my life, than finishing the AP course. Thank God for my exercise regiment or else I would probably be up 20 pounds. I found myself becoming overwhelmed with life, laundry and lessons. I thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel but I was wrong. It was a train.

This was me this quarter

             I know what you're thinking and you're right, I am not normally a negative person, I am chipper, upbeat and most of the time so darn happy I drive people nuts but this course took me down a 100 paces. There are no words that can articulate the experience that not only I had to endure but my lovely classmates as well. I was told before going into the class that people fail, people walk away, people start drinking (raises hand).

Sending out an SOS!

            There is good news after all, and well I guess I should make this the turn around where I become positive again. I didn't fail this class, nor walk away and as a matter of fact I have a 89% in the class. This old lady who never went to high school had to work very hard for that grade. I also had two other classes. English was reading and writing intensive and math. While I love English, I was sad to say that I couldn't dedicate nearly as much time as I had hoped and would of loved to. I wasn't able to focus and study on math like I should of either, I hate math anyway. So that wasn't a heartbreak like the English was.

Boy oh boy, it was a roller coaster ride and with the exception of one last final, it is over. If I could spell hal a luya I would. But I can't, so you get the picture.

           Spring break is approaching and I am excited to get my house back in order. Start the new season off with a less stressful schedule and get back to eating right, working out, drinking my water, planting flowers, sewing, making new recipes, blogging, cleaning, girls day's, pedicures (my poor tootsies), craft days, new projects. I am ready to get ME back. I am ready to get my social life back and start living life a little bit more. Although, I will still be in school, it will be a walk in the park compared to last quarter.

           I want to start blogging again on a weekly basis and get my peace back! I am ready for peace. : ) Start loving life again. That's what Mistie is about; life and living every moment the best she can.

I bid you a good farewell until we meet again,

(ME)

Happy again!

IT'S OVER & I DID IT!